4 Steps to Rebuild Your Life After Divorce

woman thinking about divorceFor some women, divorce feels like starting life completely over from scratch.

But life after divorce can signal a new beginning. Relationship expert Marni Battista shares four steps you need to take in your life after divorce head on and move past the hurt.

1. Make a plan.

Along with a legal plan to make your divorce as do-able as possible, you also need to set out and make a “Whole Life Reinvention Plan” for what your next steps are emotionally, physically, intellectually, and spiritually. If you have kids, decide what your relationship needs to be with your ex. Sit down and figure out your finances with an expert if possible, and make sure you plan accordingly.

Are there new hobbies you want to pursue? Is it time to consider going back to school or put your mind on getting a promotion at work? Although all parts of your life will probably be different than if you were still married, make sure you’re setting up yourself for a safe future in which you create a powerful “whole-life” reinvention plan where you are the focus. It can be a six-month or a five-year plan! Whatever it is, keep yourself as a priority.

2. Create a support team.

If you don’t think your support team is big enough, build it up. Find a group of women or even one good friend who is going through a similar experience to aid you in your healing process.

If you need someone who is qualified to help you move through the process and create your “Reinvention Plan,” consider talking with a qualified therapist or coach who specializes in breakups and/or divorce.

woman after divorce3. Re-discover your true self.

If you think about it, being married to someone — whether it was for six months or 30 years — you probably felt like you were part of a whole. Guess what: you, even as a single woman, are also whole! And this is the perfect time to come to grips with your authentic self, 100%.

You may have forgotten things you enjoy doing solo or neglected things you used to do when you were single. So as you take time to readjust your life, you can also reclaim those things that make you happy.

4. Learn to let go.

Letting go of any bitterness and resentment you’re harboring toward your former spouse can often be the hardest thing to do. Whether you left your spouse or he left you, there will likely be feelings of animosity and anger. If you can’t get past those vindictive feelings, there is no way you will be able to recharge your new life.

Have patience with the ups and downs of the transition and recognize that it is truly a process. Remember that how you get through and over divorce to move on with your life is completely up to you. YOU and ONLY you can take control of your life. This is your time to discover what you truly want out of your life and what makes you happy.

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