Over the years I have heard this phrase You Just Never Know (over and over again) as the rationale for taking a chance. Let’s face it, love comes with risks so why not take a chance? And yet wisdom often comes from the mistakes we make and then making different choices. So when you meet a guy with whom you have amazing chemistry and emotional connection; however, his life is complicated with raising children, a nasty ex wife, building his professional career, or maybe he’s looking for work… do you take a chance? What if he openly admits you could be second or even third on his list… do you take a chance?
Before you jump on the chemistry bandwagon, take a moment to consider your audience. What I mean is, take a moment to consider to whom you should give your heart. If you are like most of my clients, you’re seeking a serious relationship and long term commitment. So ask yourself, is the guy I’m dating right for me? Well before you ask that question, ask yourself this, what does a relationship look like for me? Do I want a relationship where we see each other once or twice during the week and spend weekends together? Do I want a relationship where we share mutual activities and hobbies? What about spending time with family or friends? What about being on the same page when it comes to finances, how important is it to you to being on the same page? Lots of questions to ask and we haven’t even touched the surface.
When I published my eCourse The Relationship Men Commit to and Why, I outlined what I consider one of the most important aspects of creating a long term relationship, this is called: Continuity. Like fingers on a glove, there are 5 areas of continuity that form the roots to a long term commitment. Those are economic agreement, emotional connection, activities & hobbies, family & friends and intimacy. When your relationship is running smooth in these areas you have a chance for relationship success.
So the next time you say You Just Never Know, ask yourself, do I know enough about this guy before I give my heart? Can we blend lives in the long run? Does he have balance and direction in his life or is he just floating by? Guys who have their head on straight usually make better choices for long term commitment, just saying.
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