I need space. Those 3 words are enough to make a person stop dead in their tracks and send them into a panic. But just because someone wants space doesn’t mean they’re looking to run away completely (though it can come off that way to the person hearing the news). Here’s how to ask your online date for some space without hurting them.
Bring It Up Early
Feelings start piling up and you can start resenting your date. Don’t wait until you reach a boiling point. This is not when you want to bring up this kind of topic. Instead make sure you discuss your space needs early. Dropping hints is one way to not send them into a panic. Ask for a day or two away and you might learn that the other person feels the same way.
Know What You Want
Whether you’re looking to spend some time alone or looking to connect with friends from another circle, make the most of your new-found space by setting goals you want to accomplish during this time. What have you been neglecting that you need to get back to?
Express Yourself Clearly
Say more than just “I need space”. Those 3 words are far too vague, and the other person could take that as you’re looking to cut things off completely. This is especially true if your only communication has been solely digital. Thoroughly explain to them why you need the space and be open and honest. Be specific and if you feel comfortable let them know what you’ll be doing during that time.
Talk About the Benefits
While having the conversation, try to find ways that getting space will be beneficial for both of you. Let them know that this could also be time for them to focus on themselves too; go back to doing hobbies, spend time with friends you haven’t connected with in a while, or even take the time for some much-needed self-care. Show them how this is a positive thing for them as well.
The point is you’ll want to come back refreshed and feeling like yourself again. Make sure you’re communicating clearly and honestly and getting some space could just bring you closer together.