Once you reach 50, dating is a very different process than when you were younger. Plus, it probably seem like everything has changed given how technology has impacted the singles scene. I’m going to share seven reasons that dating changes as you age and what you can do to make finding love after 50 easier.
1. Romantic Partner Criteria
In midlife, you are no longer looking for a good provider to start a family and bring up children. You may still have children growing up or could be past that part of life, but either way, you likely can take care of yourself financially. The men you date should of course be employed, supporting themselves and able to pay their way for vacations and activities. However, you no longer need a man to be your provider as you may have desired in your younger days. This takes a lot of pressure off and opens up a vast sea of men to choose from.
2. Baggage and Life Experience
Hopefully with age comes wisdom, right? You’ve had lots of life experience which some people might refer to as “baggage”. But everything you’ve been through makes you the person you are today. So you are smarter, stronger and you’ve learned how to make life work for the most part. This is extremely valuable and can help you attract a quality life partner if you position things in the best light.
When you talk about yourself and your history, keep it positive. Don’t reveal your trauma on the first few of dates. Your personal history should be shared on a “need to know” basis. You are not being dishonest – you are waiting to see if the person you are dating is worthy of knowing your private details. After all, do you want some guy you met only once to be a walking encyclopedia on your love life? I don’t think so.
Before sharing all that dirty laundry, get to know each other first so you make a positive impression. Hopefully, you are not your troubles, so don’t define yourself by them. In time you will share those love and life war stories but upfront, the word is mum.
Getting to the fifth decade means you know yourself very well. You know what can work for you and what you don’t like. This can help you in decision making about dating.
Use your knowledge of who you are to push yourself when needed and hold back when it’s a better choice. Be smart about who you date and choose wisely to connect with a quality match so you can create a life-enriching romantic partnership.
4. Set in Your Ways
Sometimes as people age, they get a little set in their ways. This is completely understandable, but it’s important to realize this can also work against you. In order to meet prospects and find love again, you will likely need to break some habits and try new things.
As a younger person, mingling and being adventurous is far more natural, but you can recapture the fun and willingness of your youth if you put your mind to it.
What can you do? Change up your routine, be willing to try new activities and go online. Getting out of your comfort zone is the only way to find love after 50. The side benefit of expanding your world such as trying something new or finding a new hobby is often just as good if not better than the dating!
5. Get Good at Meeting New People
After 50, you might not be as skilled at meeting new people like you were in your 20’s and 30’s. Becoming more social again ca take a little effort but the rewards are worth it. Meeting new people expands your world and adds to your life experience. The more people you meet, the better your skills will be and the more confident you’ll feel. Men find confidence in a woman very appealing.
But you won’t only build your self-esteem. The more people you meet, the more people you could potentially date. Or, the more people who could fix you up! If everyone knows 250 people, think of all the people THEY know. That’s a big pool to pick from if you ask them for help. Don’t be shy about this! Blind dates are a tried and true method for finding love. That’s how I met my husband – his sister played the matchmaker.
6. Single Men Over 50 Seems Scarce
As a dating coach for women over 40, I know it looks like there is a huge shortage of single men. That is NOT true. For whatever reason, men over 50 in particular, tend not to be visible, but they do exist. Rather than join singles groups or attend singles dances, most men over 50 look for love online. So you can find plenty of single guys once you know where to look.
Don’t slip into that scarcity mindset thinking, “There are no men so why bother looking?” Great men over 50 are out there and available. But if you don’t make yourself available, get out to mingle, or post a profile online, your chances of meeting them are super slim.
7. Make Hay While the Sun Shines
This old adage is very appropriate for dating over 50. It’s so easy to get complacent or tell yourself you’ll look for love later. Right now you are content or busy or both. Now, there’s nothing wrong with being single – you can have a fabulous life as a single person today. I’m talking women who are not being honest with yourself. If you really do want love, but are simply putting off looking for a partner because of fear or misinformation, that can keep you single.
The best thing you can do to find the love you crave is make it a priority now! That’s what I mean by “Make hay while the sun shines.” The sooner you get started, the sooner you can find yourself in the arms of a wonderful man, feeling happy and lucky to share your life with someone special. Why would you want to wait for that?
Love doesn’t happen magically or come to find you. You need to be an active participant and start dating now. No one ever looks back after finding love to say, “That was a waste of time!” While you might not be looking forward to dating, once you find the right partner, everything you went through will be completely worthwhile. It’s never too late to find love again.