Dating expert Marni Battista shares 10 questions to ask yourself before the New Year
Have you struggled with relationships in the past and want to start fresh with a new you in 2015?
Dating expert Marni Battista is sharing an exercise you can do to become a woman (or man) who is not merely “wishing” for love, but is willing to work at it. Before you say, “I have done this before, it doesn’t work for me,” think again. In order to get a different result, you must change either a thought, feeling or an action. In this case, the belief that “this doesn’t work for me” is limiting your ability to create new results—and a new you.
To begin working on a new you, we must dig into the questions that will set you up to achieve all your goals in 2015.
How willing, on a scale of 1-10 (10 being 100% willing) are you to give up your commitment to ALL the beliefs that limit your growth? For example, the belief that…you are too old, online dating doesn’t work for you, you’re too fat, etc.
If you’re willing to try, we are willing to help. Go through the exercise below and be honest with yourself. Your answers will help guide you. Let’s begin:
1. What are your limiting beliefs right now?
Write down at least 3. Once you make a list of all the beliefs you hold as the truth, determine if you are truly willing to release them in 2015. Next, make a list of what actions, thoughts and beliefs will replace these “old” beliefs and rules that have been guiding your thinking in 2013.
2. What are 3 NEW actions you will replace them with?
Of all the thoughts, feelings, and actions listed above, what are 3 specific NEW actions, thoughts and beliefs you will choose to replace these “old” beliefs and rules that have been guiding your thinking in 2014? What kind of structure or systems will you create to help you practice this new way of thinking?
3. What are 3 goals you want to achieve in 2014 that can be measured externally?
(e.g., a relationship, 10 lb. weight loss and maintenance, new revenue in your business or a promotion) What are 3 goals you want to achieve in 2015 in your “inner” life? (e.g., better relationship with you family of origin, breaking free of a romantic rut that leads you to consistently date the same “unqualified” men, increased confidence, the ability to stay present more frequently)
4. In order to achieve the goals you set for 2015, what do you need to learn to make it happen?
What change in thinking needs to occur? What new skills will you need to learn? Who will support you, and when will you ask for this help, or set aside time to research the available options?
5. Who will help you accomplish these goals?
Who is on your dream team that helped you get there? Is it somebody that you already know? Maybe you don’t even know these people. When will you ask for this help, or set aside time to research the available options? Whatever pops into your mind don’t question it! Don’t think that it’s ridiculous, or that this person (or people) doesn’t even know anything about what you are doing. Allow whatever is coming into your mind to just go through your pen. Write it on that page, because we have no idea how the universe will help you once you are FREE from the beliefs you listed in question 1.
6. What incredible ideas and insights will you have that could catapult you into a new experience of your life in 2015?
Take two minutes of silence, (yes, set a timer on your phone or an alarm) close your eyes and ask your inner self this question. Allow your mind to wander, gently guiding your thoughts back to the question. Once the two minutes have passed, write down EVERYTHING that came to mind.
7. What fears will you choose to overcome to have the life you want one year from now?
Write down all the fears you will choose to overcome in the new year.
8. What are 5 things you acknowledge yourself for ( or appreciate about yourself) that you achieved in 2014?
Write yourself a letter of appreciation – a love letter to yourself! Don’t skimp on this step! Be generous! This is a critical step, as the Universe will not conspire to give you more if it senses you are not in gratitude for what you have! Besides, how will you allow anyone else to love you if you do not take time to express your love of self!
9. What is the #1 thing you want to forgive yourself for in 2015?
When will you set aside time to engage in a ritual of forgiveness? Again, taking time for this ritual creates space in your heart and soul for love of yourself, and is this love of self which will ultimately lead to love of another, as well as the ability to truly receive love. Once you set the date (preferably before January 1, 2015) take the paper where you have written what you are releasing, and light it on fire, offering a blessing of forgiveness and love. Observe your new sense of peace and healing as the energy of resentment and self-doubt is transformed into a beautiful, pure light energy.
10. How will you express appreciation for and love of yourself in 2015?
Whether it’s getting a massage, or taking one Friday off each month to nurture and rejuvenate yourself, decide now and then mark these dates on your calendar. Taking the time to get clear and intentional regarding 2015 means one thing — that you are choosing to DESIGN your life next year, rather than just allowing the default life you have already created to play itself over again with small, minor adjustments.
Have a Happy New Year!